so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
