This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
