I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
