he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
40s are totally the cure
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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