I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
