dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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