Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
