so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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