He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
