Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
