just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
