she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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