but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
We are all done wearing pants today
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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