"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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