Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
