9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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