ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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