Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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