my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
pray to the hookup gods
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
