i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
