Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
