No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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