My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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