I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Randomize
