How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
