After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
