Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
