Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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