I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
