He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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