She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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