we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
