I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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