And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
