They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
