sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I wear drunk well.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
