I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
