Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
smell my finger.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
