People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
