Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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