how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
