How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
