I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
