I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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