i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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