don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
