I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
