I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
what is it with giant penises always finding me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
