when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
