She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
