okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
