At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
handjob tips. give me some.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
